还记得光大蜘蛛人的故事吗？
那天，坐在大门前，仰望着天空时，
挡着刺眼阳光的是光大建筑物。
它让回忆起，
你的笑话；
你的无厘头；
你的不被世俗捆绑。

那天，正式与我道别后，
我们变成没瓜葛了。
周围没有一个人认识你，
即使想打听，却有如海里捞针。

从未告诉过你，
从和你的谈话中，让我看到自己是如此的违背心意。。。
记得有一次我问你
‘为何这次不继续听妈妈的安排呢？留下来做工。’
‘我只是不想做我不想做的事情。’

想问你
‘最近过得好吗？’
我已把思念落在你的深红色衬衫上。

Just as I am

I've had a lot of big dreams

I've made a lot of bad moves

I know you could walk away

But you never do

I've met a lot of cold hearts

I've learned to smile and deceive

I know I'm hard to be around

But you never leave

I'm not easy to understand

But you hold out your hand

And you say you love me

Just as I am

You always treat me

The best that you can

You say you want me, need me

Love me, baby

Just as I am, just as I am

I've made a lot of heartaches

I've found a lot of closed doors

When all the others turn away

You love me more

You love me more

I'm not easy to understand

But you hold out your hand

And you say you love me

Just as I am

You always treat me

The best that you can

You say you want me, need me

Love me, baby

Just as I am, just as I am

(Electric Guitar SOLO)

I want to love forever

To keep our world together

And be the best that I can be

Baby, every time the world caves in on me

You say you love me

Just as I am

You always treat me

The best that you can

You say you want me, need me

Love me, baby

Just as I am, just as I am

You say you love me

Just as I am

You always treat me

The best that you can

You say you want

When I first saw it on the website, I thought it was a poem. Kept on reading, my eyes rolled down line by line. It’s very beautiful, the lyric. I am kind of in love with it. It is simple yet able to convey the heart of message vividly. This is a song by Air Supply and the title is ‘Just As I am’.

The ‘you’ here can be just anyone, anyone who treats you the best he or she can. To me, the ‘you’ is the loved. They can be my family members or friends or lover. He or she is the person who knows me well and yet accepted me in all means.

Does this lyric make you think of someone who loves you and you have the mutual feeling towards him or her. The ‘you’ can make you emotionally safe whom you can share anything you are feeling or thinking, without judgment.

The lyric is all about love. Have you ever told the ‘you’ ‘I love you’? If not, say it now before it is too late. Amore^^

Decision making...

Teenagers nowadays have many dilemmas in their growing lives, so do I. What are the DO and DON’T ? Can we get a guide book to categorize between these two? It all depends on the margin which cut the line for us to choose. In every single thing that happens in a routine life, I have a question for it. Is this a DO or a DON’T? If I am able to figure out the pros and cons of the decision taken, then the answer to the question will be obvious. If I can’t, the only alternate way to make decision is by seeking others’ opinions. They are usually my best friends, sister, brother and mother depending on the aspect of the problem. And oftenly, I found their opinions are more subjective and most important is useful. Hahax. I do wonder if there is a decision that can please everyone including myself??? >.<

The Shepherd and The Wolf

There was once upon a time a shepherd boy named Owen. He looked after his master's Sheep near a dark forest not far from the village. He needed to work every day after school to make a living. Owen was left alone since his parents passed away. This poor little Owen had no friends as he was short, skinny and weak. And yet he liked to boost, claiming himself as a wolf fighter. All the children did not want to play with him expect Trisha, a kind-hearted beautiful girl.

There was a big playground at a little distance from where Owen kept his flock. Every evening he would herd, guard, and tend the sheep. Unlike other children, they were going to have tea-time and then went off to play. Owen sat on the rock lonely playing with sticks. Soon he found life in the pasture very dull. All he could do to amuse himself was to talk to his dog or play on his shepherd's pipe. He really hoped that the other children would ask him to play with them, but this seldom happened.

“Owen, come play with us! Don’t just sit on the rock and see us playing. “Cried Trisha while running towards the playground.

“Trisha, I want to play with you all. But…but” replied Owen with a hesitation.

“But what? Owen. Don’t you want to play hide and seek?” asked Trisha mournfully.

“ Who is going to take care of the sheep? I afraid the wolf will come, Trisha,” replied Owen seriously.

At the moment, the other children had come. They did not want Owen to be part of them and so they asked Ben, the big bully not to let Owen in.

The tall and strong Ben walked towards Owen slowly while whistling, he thought he would play a trick on the poor Owen and have some fun at his expense.

“Hi, Little Owen, come and play with us. I heard that you are a wolf fighter, so you should not be afraid of the wolves, right? ”said Ben with a giggle while walking away. The other children laughed loudly.

“Of course, I am not afraid of the wolf, Ben. I will go play now. ”said Owen confidently. Immediately he stood up and left his shepherd's pipe on the rock.

“Ten, nine, eight,…,three , two, ONE!” shouted Ben. The game started.

Although Owen was happy to be in the game, he seemed worry about the sheep.

All of a sudden, Ben ran with all his might, shouting at the top of his voice, "Wolf! Wolf! Come and help! The wolves are at the lambs!"

As he expected, Owen was the first to react, he ran as quickly as possible to the village to ask for help.

“You are the first one I want to catch!” said Ben while grabbing Owen’s arm. Meanwhile, the other children came out from their hide place.

“Game over! Hahaha,” said Ben with a victory. He doubled up with laughter at the trick he had played on them.

Owen was angry with the act of Ben but he felt relief since it was just a lie. So, they continue to play.

The other game started. “Ten, nine, eight,…,three , two…” shouted Ben.

“Wolf!” shouted Ben loudly.

Again?!

All the other children did not appear; they continued to stay in their hide place. They thought it was the same old trick to let Ben win the game.

No, this time was true. Ben did not lie. A Wolf really did spring from the underbrush and fall upon the Sheep.

The Wolf attacked a great many of the sheep and then slipped away into the forest. And the poor little Owen lost all his sheep.

Ben felt very sorry for what had happened due to his lie. He decided to apologize to Sheep master. Ben was punished to be a shepherd for the next six months with Owen.

On the spring time, all the children played at the field as usual but Owen and Ben took turn to play as one of them had to be there to guard the sheep. After all, they became best friends.

Relationship

To me, in a relationship thing…there is nothing as who should or always be the right one. Always there is a thinking that girls are the ones who get hurt by the other halves but this aint no true. Boys or Guys do get hurt when a relationship broken. Just seem that people don’t used to this thinking. Love is colour blind.

It’s easy to fall for somebody who has sunny smile, tank skin, gentle and always being helpful. Somehow, it’s real hard for me to fall in love as letting a guy to break into my world makes me to be out of my own comfort zone. That’s why when I found out I like the guy, I will just stay from him merely to make sure I am still in my comfort zone…How stupid am I…Always thought that being away is the best way…like an ostrich…bury its head into the earth…when there is danger in front of it…When? When can I open my heart and confide in him? Afraid to be rejected has been a huge roadblock for me to say the right words to the right guy. Is anything that will last forever? I doubt.

Promotional Literature

People usually regret on things or may be more precisely decision made in their live. I was one of them. What I can say is whatever decision I had made wasn’t easy for me, just like any high school student who suffered during the process of making decision which will affect his or her future path. I would like to quote a saying of Oprah Winfrey ‘Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.’ I am going to be honest, to admit that I was regret about my decision to further study in Kelantan. I would have never reveal it in front of my parents, but I think they might have sensed that, sensed my cling, clinging to Penang, my hometown. Every time when I was carrying my heavy luggage, saying goodbye to my mum. She always replied, please bring your heart there (Kelantan), cause you can’t do anything without your heart (she means I can’t focus well). When I was on board the Transnational bus, I would think of those words and questioning myself. Where is my heart? The very first day of reaching Kelantan was accompanied by my mom, big brother, aunties and uncle. It was very grateful to have them by my side as this is the first time I was so far away from home. On the very first week of orientation, before the lecture started, I already planned to go home and I was home after the orientation week. It was just a weekend in Penang. Initially I got a transport allowance from my mom, but after that it was cancelled due to inappropriate use. Now I have to pay every penny for my transport forth and back to USMKK and perhaps this would make me think twice before planning to go back Penang.

Things change when time goes by. When I get to know a lot of friends; when I started my busy university life; when I started to fall in love with my course (dietetics); when I started to join a sports (just for the sake of fulfilling my credit initially but it turned out that I have a interest in archery, golf and even Qigong); when I started to take part in activities organized by different clubs. All things changed, changed for better when I opened my heart. Though I am only a second year dietetics student, this whole year of my first year was memorable. I have gained so many personal experiences that I would have not tried before. Instead of regretting my decision, I have learnt to be grateful for who I am and where I am now. I would like to share some of photos taken during my first year and well, just let the photos to speak for me.

This was me during my first year in USMKK. The background gives you a good hint. Obviously it was the hostel I stayed at last year.

The ‘rimba’ (forest) place was where our ‘Pimpin Siswa’ camp being held. At there, we played games to get to know each other among the first year. We even had a ‘blind walk’ which was a hiking activity during 2 a.m. It was so fun and I am grateful that I didn’t miss it.

Ermmm…this charming girl just beside me who was too shy to raise her ‘peace’ post has turned out to be my best friend now. The weaving point of our friendship started when we were assigned in the same group during the orientation week.

Oh, this lovely girl with a long shiny hair was Jamie. She is a course mate and a good friend of mine. Everyone wants to be her friend. Her sensitivity and thoughtful act always make me feel warm.

These photos were taken during our laboratory session. We enjoyed cooking a lot despite of the chore and cleaning after cooking. It's quite tiring.

This was during the outing for the WUS (keusahawanan) subject assignment. We were out to look for the items suitable to start our own business. While accomplishing our task, we took the opportunity to visit around Kelantan. Two birds with one stone, isn’t it?

The cute girl with the ‘peace’ post is Linda. She has great personality and often shares with me the knowledge of Malay culture and also Kelantanese language. This photo was taken during our physical examination in sport science laboratory.

Ermmm, this is just part of my first year in university and I am grateful for what I am having now. Happy to say that I am looking forward to have fun and explore more in the next few year. Yippee=)